


5 Times Steve Risked His Life Because of Bucky

by howthemoonfeels



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 5 Times, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 04:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howthemoonfeels/pseuds/howthemoonfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The serum made him bigger, stronger, faster— that much is obvious— but Steve is less sure about smarter, because all he can think about now is Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Steve Risked His Life Because of Bucky

1.  
  
He enlists.  
  
Or, he tries, because Bucky’s all he’s got left and he can’t bear to think about what’ll happen to him if Bucky leaves him, too. He lies, and tells himself that he’s doing this because he loves his country, not just his best friend.  
  


2.  
  
He agrees to Erskine’s experiment, because he needs to get to Bucky, to make sure he’s okay, because even though Bucky’s the one who rescues him from fights and takes care of him when he’s sick, he’s the one that makes sure Bucky takes care of himself, and eats at at least as much as he drinks.  
  
He doesn’t want to believe that Bucky doesn’t need him as much as he needs Bucky. He has to get over there, and the serum is the only way.  
  


3.  
  
The serum made him bigger, stronger, faster— that much is obvious— but he’s less sure about smarter, because all he can think about now is Bucky. He thinks that the serum made him worse, too, not just better— because yes, he loves America more, these days, sure, but he loves Bucky more, too, in a more indecent way than ever. He had thought that maybe once women would actually look at him, he might be more attracted to them, but it’s still mostly Bucky he thinks about when he bites his lip and takes himself in hand before he falls asleep at night.  
  
He tries to convince himself that selling War Bonds in tights really is helping Bucky, but he can’t quite manage it. He jumps at the chance to go overseas, because maybe he’ll get to see Bucky, and he needs Bucky now more than ever, even though he can hold his own in a fight these days.  
  
He goes after the 107th, thirty miles behind enemy lines, because he has to know. If Bucky’s alive, he has to DO something.  
  


4.  
  
He’s out on the edge of the torn-away train before he thinks about it, because Bucky’s the best thing in his life, and he’s almost lost him too many times already and it’ll all mean nothing if Bucky dies now, on Steve’s watch.  
  
He falls, and Steve wants to jump after him, because even if the fall kills him, he might be able to save Bucky, and that would be worth it, because this is HIS FAULT, and he feels like he just single-handedly lost the entire war.  
  


5.  
  
Bucky’s dead, and nothing matters, so Steve suggests the straightforward plan. He hopes it looks bold, like the element of surprise and possibly bravery, not like cowardice and a death wish, but he can’t do this without Bucky.


End file.
